What’s the best way to start your blog, with a bullying story.
So, this all started in Reception, I was about 5 years old, and there was this girl, lets name her ‘S’, who wanted to be friends with me but I didn’t want to be friends with her; I don’t know why I just didn’t. I remember in Nursery to Reception I would do this to nearly everyone, but don’t worry, I’ve learnt my lesson. I think this was the start to her growing hatred of me!
Ok, moving on to Year 1, S had her own group of friends and I was apart of it, sometimes S would sometimes be my friend and sometimes she wouldn’t and as she was the Regina George of the group, her friends would do the same thing, whoever S didn’t like, they wouldn’t like either. But me being my 7-year-old self didn’t notice this until now (I’m 16).
After Year 1, S and I had split up in Year 2 and Year 3, but we were back in the same class in Year 4; this is when it had gotten serious. We were friends at the start and had forgotten about the past and I had my own close friend, lets call her K. After a few months S had suddenly got a change of heart about me. I have no idea how this happened but K found out that she was trying to split us up, which was unfortunately successful. S would constantly call me names and steal friends from me, she had made another group with some of the same people and some new people and again, she was the Regina George. Sometimes we were friends and sometimes we were not. You could also say that she was the Alison DiLaurentis of the group, but without the blonde hair and dead husband. I told my mum that S was bullying me and my mum told the teacher, but in my own personal opinion, I think that the teacher favoured S a lot more because I think that she thought that I was also being a bully as S would always tell the teacher that I was doing something to her. Also the bullying would’ve stopped if the teacher had actually done something. Again my own personal opinion.
But I think that as I would still be her friend, regardless of the fact that she was constantly bullying me, she always had the opportunity to do so, as I was a shy kid who was scared to say anything; I did say things sometimes but not as much. If I had left her group once and for all, the bullying would’ve stopped by then. But oh it didn’t.
Moving on to Year 5, we were kept in the same class resulting in S and I still being together (great). The same thing had continued then, but this time, it went on to be a bit more physical. There was this one time when S and her friends had ganged up on me and I physically scratched her face (might as well go for the team leader), we both told separate teachers and the teachers think that everything was better. No it wasn’t.
Finally Year 6! The same thing kept on going, I didn’t realise that if I had avoided the temptation of her group, then everything would’ve been alright and I wouldn’t be writing this blog post!
This time, the reason for S bullying me had changed (even though I have no idea as to why she had started in the first place) this time it was because I’m was not the most religious person, I’m still not (I’m a Muslim by the way). I was the only girl in class who did not wear a head scarf, and she would constantly force me to, she would ask me religious questions that I admit, I did not know, she would judge me for wearing nail polish and I would go to hell for it (even though you can wear it as long as you take it off for namaz) and she would say that snakes will eat me in my grave and the Sun would burn me just for wearing it. She called my mum the devil as I blamed her for the reason why I don’t wear a headscarf, I just purely said this so she would stop judging me, I know BAD mistake. She said that I would go to hell for not being a ‘good’ Muslim, but I doubt bullying someone will get you to heaven. If only I had said this then. K would call me a ‘fake Muslim’. I personally admit that if S was not in the same class as me, this would have NEVER happened. Due to this, S had literally turned the ENTIRE class against me and I barely had a proper friend. I had this one best friend, but she was scared of S so she had stopped being by friend. I felt truly heartbroken by this. Some girls who I would casually talk to would not admit to being my friend and whenever S was around, those girls would start being rude to me.
There was this one time when S was taunting me in which had resulted us talking in class, the teacher had gotten VERY annoyed with my and was shouting at me, I felt like crying. Another teacher had heard her taunting me and I saying some stuff to her, the teacher who had heard us had told the teacher who had shouted at me and we had both gotten in trouble but I didn’t fully defend myself as I was scared as hell. If I had defended myself, rather than saying ‘I didn’t say that’ then I wouldn’t have felt that embarrassed with myself.
Then I did something SO stupid that you would want to kill me because of it. After S and her group were taunting me about not being a proper Muslim, I had sent an email to her stating how much I hate her. This had made it worst. I know, I know it was stupid, I did this before to another girl before and yet, I did not learn. I still regret it to this day. I told the teacher this and S bullying me and the issue had died down. S and I were casually talking again but then she went on holiday before school had fully ended. I had once sent an email if she could give me this girl’s email but then she replayed very rudely, after that I had sent an email about how rude she is and then blocked her. That was the last time I talked to her.
After that, we had to go to Secondary School and thankfully, we had gotten accepted into different schools (YES!). The last time I saw her, she was picking her little sister up from school.
In conclusion, S was a bully. I could’ve stopped her if I had avoided her and left her group, but me being me I didn’t. It took me 5 years to realise this. I admit, I did some stuff that I’m not proud of (that stupid email) but I’ve learnt from it.
My advice is, that if you feel as if you’re that kid of the group who constantly gets bullied by the others, LEAVE THEM. Trust me you will feel liberated!
That’s it on my first ever blog post! Hope you guys enjoyed it. Writing this has bought back A LOT of memories and I constantly wish that if I had the same attitude I have now back then, then everything would’ve been different. I mean EVERYTHING!